He Is In The Hospital (Day 2)

Today, Sunday 11.49 am.

I woke up pretty early today, Flight delayed till so long, I reached home at 2 am.

Right after I opened my eyes I reached my phone and checked what ever social media that might give me any news about him.

I don't know his condition. After we fought yesterday, his last sentence is "Salika, we are done, bye!" and I replied "yes, we are done!"

I really don't know how's his feeling now, how's his condition..

I just don't know what to do.

The only thing I wanna hear from his friend is he is just fine and will go home soon.

He Is In The Hospital (day 1)

I was in Jakarta, midnight, when I got his chat said that he is sick and there is something wrong with his veins and he already went to the clinic and the doctor said that he has to go to hospital.

As a not-crazy girlfriend, it is normal when I feel so worried. The last time he went to hospital and stayed just for few weeks before this happened.

I couldn't sleep the whole night, mom already asked me to sleep because we have to check out from the hotel before 12.

I tried to call him and he just replied not clearly, what I heard is he was talking to the doctor and couldn't talk to me that time.

I was so worried, I kept thinking about him.

I waited for so long till then I decided to call him and still he didn't answer my call at all.

In the morning, I woke up so late and still there was no any news from him.

I threw my self to the warm water, thought that it can make me calm. But no, I was so worried about him.

Almost lunch time, I called him. I couldn't wait for so long anymore, and his friend answered my call, I couldn't hear his voice and THE CREDIT FINISHED!!!

2.29 pm. He talked to me by facebook messenger. I was so happy finally he can tell me his condition. BUT NO! he just say hi, telling something that actually also made me shocked about one of our friend and when I asked about his health he didn't say shit, he just say that he wanted to eat and he went just like that.

I said yes, fine.. I was waiting AGAIN.

Can you imagine, when you are so worried and scared with what happen with the one that you love, and there's no any news about him and actually he still have mouth to ask his friend to text you, chat on facebook or anything to explain what the fuck is happening with him, but your loved one is just feeling "oh.. ok my girlfriend is ok when she find out that I am sick, and that's enough.. she doesn't need to know what the fuck is wrong with my body and what the doctor says.. my girlfriend is awesome!"

4.53 pm. My flight delayed. I checked my facebook, he commented on my photo on facebook. I was so angry! He can open his facebook, chat here and there, commented here and there but cannot give me any news that can make me calm!

I blasted like a dog!

All the bad words fell out so easily from my brain to my hand typing it for him.

I know very well I suppose to not doing it to him. He is sick! He was already in the hospital.

That's the moment where all the feeling I have make me that much angry.

I was worried, I was scared, I was angry.

Can you guys whoever that know this story understand what I felt that time?

I cried while I was typing the chat for him.

He will never know what I felt that time.

Confession

Ok, i want to confess about my feeling.
Hahaha, no, not about those handsome guys. It's just about some random things that I just realized.

1. I know no one in this world born as a perfect person, and I am the very-not-perfect one. I know I made a looooottt of mistakes. And I apologize for all the mistakes I made.

2. I was so dumb, stupid, and blind. Why did I say that? Because I couldn't realize all the mistakes that someone did for a lot of times and keep repeating it again and again! And I keep remember and keep being angry to those who did 1 mistake only and never do it again. I was really so blind!

3. I think I need to have something to do on my brain.

4. That's it. I feel soooo guilty after i realized all the mistake i did.