Thursday, 12 March 2015

Mobil-mobilan Tuhan

Jam 2.42 pagi , dan aku bukannya tidur tapi malah ngeblog.

Aku harusnya ngerjain segunung assignments aku daripada nulis ginian.

Anyhoo, aku tiba-tiba aja keingetan tentang mimpi-mimpi aku yang dulu-dulu. Dan sekarang aku udah 21 tahun lebih dan malam ini, di tengah stressnya tekanan batin karna ujian mid-sem dan tugas yang luar biasa, aku baru sadar kalau sebenernya ada mimpi yang gak kesampaian dan ada juga Tuhan dengan baik hatinya menggantinya dengan yang lebih baik.

Dulu aku mimpi pengen jadi dokter. Jadi aku cuma ngimpi pengen keterima di Unmul dan aku gak sepintar itu ternyata. Gak cuma Unmul yang nolak aku, tapi aku juga gagal tes kedokteran Unisba, Hang Tuah dan salah satu universitas di Jambi (atau Jember? lupa!). Cuma Malahayati yang nerima aku.

Akhirnya mimpi itu pun udah kayak tulisan di pasir pantai kena badai! Hilang tanpa jejak, berantakan, amburadul gak jelas.

Dan aku terdampar di farmasi Unmul. Syukur-syukur lah yaa masih ada yang nerima otak yang pas-pasan ini. Tapi di farmasi aku gak ngerasa sedikitpun enjoy belajar tentang apapun. Cuma mata kuliah bahasa inggris doang yang nyangkut dikit di otak.

Tuhan itu sayang banget sama aku.

Di tengah-tengah putus asa, pasrah, dan bener-bener gatau apa yang harus dilakuin, tiba-tiba aja papah ngusulin untuk ke Australia. Aku kaget monyet dong! Aku mikirnya uang dari mana coba di pake buat sekolahin segitu jauhnya. Akhirnya berunding dan papah setuju aku ke Malaysia.

Tahun pertama di Malaysia itu neraka banget!

Tapi tahun demi tahun aku ketemu orang baru, dosen baru, dan MIMPI baru.

Salah satu dosen aku yang sebenernya ngebuka pikiran aku banget kalau jurusan psikologi itu di tekuni dengan baik bakal "menghasilkan" banget!

Oh, aku gak bakal lupa banget sama dosen satu ini. Gaya ngajar dia, cara berfikir dia, betapa profesional nya dia. Aku gak bakal lupa. Dia ini seperti idola baru aku setelah Kahitna, Hedi Yunus, Elfa Seciora, David Foster dan Andrea Bocelli.

Aku bakal buat postingan terpisah betapa penting nya idola-idolaku ini di hidpuku.

Sama seperti betapa album Kahitna yang judulnya Soulmate jadi salah satu saksi gimana aku berusaha survive di SMP.
Ah, itu bakalan jadi another freaking long post di blog ini nantinya.

Intinya, aku sekarang udah punya tujuan baru.

Dulu punya cita-cita jadi dokter.

Sekarang, insyaallah, aku udah tau kemana aku nantinya melangkah.

Jadi buat siapapun yang kecewa hari ini, percaya deh, Tuhan itu yang megang remote control di hidup kita. Kita itu cuma Mobil-mobilan biasa yang geraknya bergantung dengan kekuatan sinyal dari antena kita yang menghubungkan kita dengan Tuhan.

Tuhan itu selalu mengarahkan kita ke jalan yang menurutNya lebih baik dari yang kita rencanakan,

Setahun aku gak nulis apa-apa di blog ini, sekalinya nulis udah bijak banget kesannya. HAHA

Tapi aku serius.

Thursday, 6 February 2014

Hi Bali !

It is a really really late post!

Sesuai judulnya aku mau cerita tentang perjalananku selama di Bali. Aku ke Bali tanggal 3 Januari sampai tanggal 7 Januari kemaren. Aku gak sendiri tentunya, mama beli tiket buat aku, bobby, mama, papa, pipi, nenek dan juga buat julak Ida dan kak Tami dari bandung tapi ternyata hari berangkatnya tabrakan dengan jadwal ujian pipi dan papa ada urusan mendadak katanya sih jadinya mereka berdua di gantiin sama kak Piyan dan Dani (adiknya kak piyan) dan di tambah ega yang beli tiket cuma beberapa hari sebelum berangkat.



Sebenernya Ali ada rencana nyusulin ke Bali, udah siap mau bikin visa eh aku berubah pikiran dan gak bantudia bikin surat undangan ke Indonesia, soalnya ada sesuatu gitu deh.. Berusaha menjadi lebih dewasa dngan mulai memikirkan yang mana harus di prioritaskan terlebih dahulu itu emang susah, kalau salah dikit akhirnya nyesel udah ngambil keputusan yang salah.. Ya, persis seperti yang aku alamin.. Sesampainya di bandara NgurahRai, aku celingakcelinguk berharap dia bakal bikin surprise seperti biasanya. Tapi... dia emang batal datang :(

Kita nginep di Kendi Mas hotel, tempatnya enak di depan hotel langsung jalan yang kalau malam rame banget dan deket banget kalau mau ke pantai. Hotelnya murah dan ada kolam renangnya, makanan yang dijual di dalamnya juga murah, trus dapat breakfast juga, jarang kan dapat breakfast di hotel murah meriah gitu.







Mama nyewa mini van sama supirnya trus minta tour keliling Bali. Kita ke pasar Sukowati, ke gunung Kintamani trus makan disana, trus ke Pantaaaaiiiii!!!!

Gunung Kintamani


Pertamakalinya nyobain parasailing euy! sseerruuu!


Banana boat maennya bareng ega, dani dan bobby!! yuhuuuu..


Nyobain flying fish juga, karna maennya cuma bertiga, kak piyan dan kak tami berdua, dan aku sendiri sama mas2nya. hehe..
Sempat juga ke pura yang ada banyak monyetnya trus poto bareng kelelawar gede pake hiasan kepala ala orang Bali trus gak lupa ke Tanah Lot ddoonngg. Seruuuu!!



Hari terakhir mama mutusin untuk gak pakai supir, kita semua jalan kaki ke panti terdekat, belanja dikit nambah-nambahin oleholeh buat orang dirumah. aku nyempatin juga bikin temporary tattoo gara-gara ngeliat mama sama kak Tami yang udah bikin duluan waktu ke Kintamani. hehe..



Malemnya aku, kak Tami, kak Piyan dan Ega keliling ngeliatin restoran dan bar yang ada disekitaran hotel. Kita gila-gilaan gitu, asli unforgettable!









Dan besoknyaaaaa...
Semuanya pada pulang dan ke bandara barengan kecuali aku dan kak Tami yang flight nya deketan waktunya. Dan inilah muka terakhir kita di Bali pagi itu.












Perjalanan yang awesome!!! Beruntung punya mama, nenek dan julak yang baiiiiikkk banget, punya sepupu yang cool! Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah atas semua kesenangan yang Allah berikan waktu itu.

Monday, 30 December 2013

He Is In The Hospital (Day 2)

Today, Sunday 11.49 am.

I woke up pretty early today, Flight delayed till so long, I reached home at 2 am.

Right after I opened my eyes I reached my phone and checked what ever social media that might give me any news about him.

I don't know his condition. After we fought yesterday, his last sentence is "Salika, we are done, bye!" and I replied "yes, we are done!"

I really don't know how's his feeling now, how's his condition..

I just don't know what to do.

The only thing I wanna hear from his friend is he is just fine and will go home soon.

He Is In The Hospital (day 1)

I was in Jakarta, midnight, when I got his chat said that he is sick and there is something wrong with his veins and he already went to the clinic and the doctor said that he has to go to hospital.

As a not-crazy girlfriend, it is normal when I feel so worried. The last time he went to hospital and stayed just for few weeks before this happened.

I couldn't sleep the whole night, mom already asked me to sleep because we have to check out from the hotel before 12.

I tried to call him and he just replied not clearly, what I heard is he was talking to the doctor and couldn't talk to me that time.

I was so worried, I kept thinking about him.

I waited for so long till then I decided to call him and still he didn't answer my call at all.

In the morning, I woke up so late and still there was no any news from him.

I threw my self to the warm water, thought that it can make me calm. But no, I was so worried about him.

Almost lunch time, I called him. I couldn't wait for so long anymore, and his friend answered my call, I couldn't hear his voice and THE CREDIT FINISHED!!!

2.29 pm. He talked to me by facebook messenger. I was so happy finally he can tell me his condition. BUT NO! he just say hi, telling something that actually also made me shocked about one of our friend and when I asked about his health he didn't say shit, he just say that he wanted to eat and he went just like that.

I said yes, fine.. I was waiting AGAIN.

Can you imagine, when you are so worried and scared with what happen with the one that you love, and there's no any news about him and actually he still have mouth to ask his friend to text you, chat on facebook or anything to explain what the fuck is happening with him, but your loved one is just feeling "oh.. ok my girlfriend is ok when she find out that I am sick, and that's enough.. she doesn't need to know what the fuck is wrong with my body and what the doctor says.. my girlfriend is awesome!"

4.53 pm. My flight delayed. I checked my facebook, he commented on my photo on facebook. I was so angry! He can open his facebook, chat here and there, commented here and there but cannot give me any news that can make me calm!

I blasted like a dog!

All the bad words fell out so easily from my brain to my hand typing it for him.

I know very well I suppose to not doing it to him. He is sick! He was already in the hospital.

That's the moment where all the feeling I have make me that much angry.

I was worried, I was scared, I was angry.

Can you guys whoever that know this story understand what I felt that time?

I cried while I was typing the chat for him.

He will never know what I felt that time.

Sunday, 1 December 2013

Confession

Ok, i want to confess about my feeling.
Hahaha, no, not about those handsome guys. It's just about some random things that I just realized.
1. I know no one in this world born as a perfect person, and I am the very-not-perfect one. I know I made a looooottt of mistakes. And I apologize for all the mistakes I made.
2. I was so dumb, stupid, and blind. Why did I say that? Because I couldn't realize all the mistakes that someone did for a lot of times and keep repeating it again and again! And I keep remember and keep being angry to those who did 1 mistake only and never do it again. I was really so blind!
3. I think I need to have something to do on my brain.
4. That's it. I feel soooo guilty after i realized all the mistake i did.

Wednesday, 30 October 2013

Keeping Quite

"Huh, you are.... I dont know.... You are the biggest mistake that i've ever made"
"You just dont know, Salika! I always trying to kiss and hug you! But you keep pushing me away!"
"You just dont understand what other people feeling"
"Fuck you!"
"Haha i will die fast if im with you"
"You insulted my love! I dont wanna be with you! Such an ungreatful girl!"
"Asshole!"
"Bitch!"
No, its just a drama, that keep coming to my mind, bring all the tears inside my heart.
May Allah always keep me to not saying the same like what he did.
"I am tired.."
"Seriously, i dont wanna be with you.."
"I am really tired"
That's all the sentences that i've ever decided to say...
Yeah in the end i am the one who always being the-wrong-one.
But at least , understand my feeling.
If i say i am sad, then understand why.
Not giving more anger.
Drama is over.
Happy ending :)

Tuesday, 29 October 2013

Salika, you failed!

I failed.
I dont know, but i just failed in everything.
I cant manage the class (eventhough only 3 days a week) , i cant manage the time with my boyfriend.
Everyone has their own problem.
Mine just the classic one.
Done.